So, again I am here to unfold before you all another very serious and sensitive issue:- DOWRY SYSTEM..You all may be familiar with the word Dowry, which is explained as the Money, Goods and the property that a women brings to her husband after getting tied in a knot with him….
Meaning of Dowry
- It is considered as the goods,cash and real or movable property that a Bride’s Family offers to the Bridegroom’s family as a condition of the marriage….. Literally you can say that it refers to paying the price of the Husband by the Bride’s Family….often Groom’s family make a huge list of items, cash, jewelry, Vehicle, Property alongwith Gifts to all the other relatives and family members of the Groom and make a huge burden on the Bride’s family and can leave the family of the Bride destitute….
- Do you think that this system is contributing even a single ton towards the upliftment of the Society and Especially women? The answer simply is No, rather this system acts like a parasite within and kills the Bride’s Father within himself, for two reasons..
- First being, giving away her daughter he love so much and having spent so many happy years with her ends him being emotional by the thought of imagining that the Next Morning after her Marriage, she won’t be in her home, she would be separated by him not by heart but by distance….. It’s not easy neither for a Parents nor for a Daughter to stay away from one another, no only stay away but rather to a family where the Girl doesn’t even know how her In-Laws are by mouth and by heart, she suffers a complete change of her lifestyle, complete change of the persons around her, complete change of the taste of the food she was familiar to, complete change of her freedom, complete change of her dressing, complete change of her habits and many more……
- Second reason being, burdened so much in addition to the emotional burden it’s not easy for a Father to handle and cope up these two situations all in a one go….But he does only because to ensure that his Daughter stays happy at her Husband’s place after her Wedding….
Upgrading Technology Won’t Be Of Any Help Until And Unless We People Don’t Change Our Mentality And Thinking
- Even in our Modern Era this Dowry system has not been abolished and is still prevailing at a high rate despite of certain Amendment from the Court according to which, Both the Families demanding as well as Granting Dowry are a culprit in the eyes of the Law….But inspite of these practice of Dowry and Deaths caused because of this system continues to take place in many parts of India…. India’s Dowry Harassment laws are ineffective because the statues are too vague, the police and the courts do not enforce this Law, giving women a subordinate status in the society…Also some women are afraid to implicate their husbands in a Dowry Crime, simply because the Indian Society is viewed as having conditioned women to anticipate or expect abuse and eventually endure it!!
- The laws are not properly implemented and are not given attention by the police and by the court…Our Government needs to work on its flaws, Because it’s only a Court or a police who can help a woman get justice and punish the Groom and her family, so our management needs to strongly impose and work on these flaws that it has…..
- Often a case related to this remains unobserved for 10 years and even when brought to the court the husband and his family end up extortion and murder because the women and their families cannot prove “Beyond a reasonable doubt” that they are victims of such crime, as there are rarely any outside witnesses…Even when deaths occur by Bride-Burning it also fades away alongwith with her ashes, totally unobserved….What do you think gives a Groom’s family such a confidence for committing such heinous crime?
- It is nothing other than, the failure in our Governing body, the court takes often more than 10 years to consider a case related to Dowry, which gives confidence to the Groom and his family and also anyone has only that much, confidence to anything to us which we ourselves give me, which means it is the Girl’s mistake that she stays silent and endures all the suffering on her, My request to you all is to never stay quiet and silent when something injustice happens to you and when you’re not to be blamed for any single reason…This is the reality that If the girl gathers courage against the wrong, if she raises her voice it would fear her husband and his family and they’ll be aware that she will not sit silent against all the injustice caused to her….
Events which Usually Occurs
- There are many cases that are truely the fruit of the greed the Groom’s family have in themselves…. Even after demanding a hugesome of cash, property, Vehicles before the Marriage the don’t sit quite even after the wedding and start troubling the Girl and forces her to bring more cash and property from her home and If she says anything in response they start tormenting her, like many cases come of beating the Girl, Burning her alive, Not giving her food to eat until she agrees to ask her father for more cash, they start molesting and Harassment of The Girl and tests her utmost patience of how she suffers such humiliation and pain from her In-Laws….
- But sadly most of these cases are not even reported to the police, and you know now what is the reason behind this..As I already said the reason is that the Woman fears for implicating against her husband, because of the thought that they are materials to endure such humiliation and pain…..
- How can Woman assume themselves as an object, meant to suffer and bear all possible extortion and humiliation even without uttering a single word? You know why, because the society in which we are living A Girl, A woman is given no importance and respect they are considered as objects to please their husbands by being good at bed, they are considered to cook for her husband and her In-Laws, they are considered to be unequal to woman, they are considered of machines to produce babies and that too If she gives birth to a girl child, she is considered “Manhus” but actually it’s not her fault at all…. It’s just a matter of chance that Her eggs fused with X ch. From her husband…
- Then why is always only a woman blamed for everything?
“Ratio Of Almost 7.3 Of Illiterate People Over Educated People, If We Take 10 Individuals On Account”
- Because of the amount of illiterate people covering our land is far more than the intellectual ones, who live their lives according to a principle in which it is stated that, “Bring your son, a woman who brings him a lot of wealth and property and make her your servant, so that you can rest” seriously??
- Seriously, like seriously? We are living in such society where people consider woman so low, which actually is not the case on any basis….Instead they should teach their son to respect her wife, parents should teach their son not to loose his sovereignty for acquiring a Girl’s family property, parents should realize that today they are demanding hugesome of money from a Girl’s Father and one day when their Day gets married, how would they feel if been burdened alike they did to their Daughter-In-Law’s family….
- Such people who focus greatly on taking Dowry should not forget that there’s a principle called “KARMA” which does exist and they’ll have to pay for every single penny taken from a Father of a Girl, just in order to give their son to him to marry with his daughter…..
- It’s very intoxicating that we are living in a society where it’s said Nowadays that, “Woman are assumed equal to man and the days are gone when men used to be superior” these are hold only good while listening to it but still till now in many families the old traditional still prevails….
Lack of moral support by the parents to their daughter’s
- Here also lies the fault of many Parents who don’t give their Daughter an opportunity to study, to realize what is right and what is wrong, in order to stand upright towards the injustice caused on girls, many parents consider that their daughter should not move out of her house, or is not given freedom only because if something wrong happens with them :-
- “Who will marry her”? Such parents should realize and understand that they should make their daughter so capable and independent that she doesn’t tolerate anything which is wrong…And by snatching away her freedom how do you assure of this, that she’ll be able to face the whole world all at once, when set free?… No, she won’t be able to……She’ll loose all the confidence of how to counteract for herself, she’ll loose that personality growth which is much needed why we interact to someone, she’ll became a prey to a predator very easily because of the lack of courage and confidence in her….
- So parents please, realize you biggest flaw here…And surely not every parent of a Girl is like this but some are, so to them you really need to create that confidence in your girl, so that she doesn’t tolerate any kind of injustice caused to her and raises her voice aloud…..
Are girls being granted the same equality as boy’s are being granted?
- Nowadays, girls are given equal opportunity to study and work and also they are running far better than Men and Boys in many fields….Every second time a topper of the Board examination, Intermediate examination, any competitive examinations is a girl….Girls are reaching great success in their lives with flying colors….Some become, an I.A.S Office, some an, I.P.S office, some an Engineer, some Doctors, some teachers and some professors and also some runs very good in the corporate sector and Other Government sectors too……. These days, parents have start teaching their Daughter and investing money on her education so that they won’t have to worry about their daughters marriage…..
- That’s why it’s said, “Make your daughters so capable, that you don’t have to worry for her marriage” yes this is the truth that many marriage proposal comes to such capable Girl’s family but also there lies a secret which remain hidden…and can you guess what the secret maybe?
- I think you can? Yes, you are true that’s the sad reality that even after being so successful in their professional lives, girls become a prey to their personal life, i.e, Dowry, even some girls are demanded to leave their jobs in order to cook food and serve her husband’s family for the rest of her life…..
Sacrificing her dreams for the sake of others
- Imagine how can the Girl think of losing and dropping her profession which she earned by her vigours hard work? But many times they have to do so, because it hurts some men’s ego that, His wife is earning and the house is running on her salary, so to those men, I would say, you need to be sensible that If you are married to a woman means you are sharing your whole life with her, sharing the same bed, sharing parents, sharing the same roof, the same children then why not you should share your money too, why should it hurt your ego, if your Wife is earning? Rather you should feel proud of her, and also if your male ego is not satisfied then don’t use her money, but let her earn in other to fulfill her own expenses, let her live her life she also has a dream like you have….
Say no to Dowry
- We should realize that taking and granting DOWRY is a punishable offense and we should make sure and make a start to end this system prevailing from a long long time ago….The organization should be strong enough to look into such serious issue, Woman should not fear and bother of anything and should never hesitate to inform to the police and take help from the Court against this crime…….
- Through this article, we are now Familiar with the term Dowry, the causes that it has not been abolished and need to raise our voice against such crime….
CASE STUDY ON DOWRY:-
*”A Father spent money on his Daughter’s education”:- In order to make her independent and in order to make her stand on her own feet, a father well educated her daughter….
” A Father always supported his daughter’s dreams and respected her ambitions”:- Like a father should, the father here also did the same and became the Backbone for his daughter only to make her realize that her father is there for her and he”ll make sure she pursues her dreams…
“He always poked his daughter that she always remains busy on her phone, but on the other hand never checked her phone”:- This is called protection towards her daughter and not suspicion he trusted her his best he could..This tells the amount of love, trust, faith and believe he had in her..
“Father became his daughter’s sunshine on day it rained for her”:- After her studies got completed she wanted to do job Albeit her mother said that now she”s educated enough that they can find a Good Body for her and make her home in her Husband’s house, even her relatives suggested the same by it was only her father who stand stiff and revoked them all and said, that he has not educated her so that she can be married to a Good Earning Groom but because to make her independent and confident…
And so Journey of her Job Days started…
Months passed by and also with each passing month also Photographs of options passed by….
But actually truth was she had to be married so one day a proposal came and everyone including the girl decided to look forward to marry a Boy, who was an I.A.S Officer posted in Manipur…
” Even a Father became helpless in order to make sure the wedding is complete without any obstacle”:- Their side said the girl had to leave her job, she don’t need to earn as Her Husband would be earning enough and it would be a shame to them that a wife of an I.A.S is working in a corporate sector..!! Her Father tried convincing them but ended up convincing his daughter….
” Lists came of the items demanded not as Dowry but as “PRESENTS” AND “GIFTS” :-
You know this the new tradition of not blaming yourself as being dowry demander…..
” Arrangements were done and A father invested his savings and earnings, his fixed deposits, his Recurring Deposits, *only to ensure the amount demanded
Rituals were done and The Ambitious Girl was made to leave her Job, and leave her family and went to her Husband’s place…
And her life was changed to about 360 degrees, the day she stepped out of her house to take forward her step to her husbands house, everything changed..!!
What was changed but the way? The same morning came alongwith the welcoming Sun and the chirping birds made ni difference in their notes of sounds, neither did the clock was lagging behind to struck 6:00 in the morning nor the rays of the Sun was behind its time to hit her eyes….Then what was changed?
Change was for her Ownself, The nature, the Sun, The clock, and the morning made no difference to her in her in-laws house, but the difference made to her was…..The difference was that in her Husband’s house, she got up from bed at sharp 6 in the morning which usually was not the case with her, at her Father’s place….She was used to the morning soclding from her mother, and she knew her mother would turn off the fan and Air-conditioned of her room during summers and Remove the blanket from upside her on the day it witnessed Winters….
But at her in-laws place, it seemed as if this little girl had grown up and she herself got up, without any single alarm, because she remembered what her Mother has said to her:- “Don’t give them any chance to complain about you or your habits or question your parents teachings and your upbringing” this point struck her hard in her and ended up getting up Early in the morning….
She took a bath, cooked for the family of 12 people alone and also had to attend a Ritual where, local women came to see the face of the Bride….All this jam-packed hectic schedule made her tired like hell, but she didn’t even utter a single word from her mouth…..
She wanted to lay down and sleep but alas!! She no chance of doing it…
Months passed by and this Office going girl transfomed into a Daughter-In Law of the Khanna”s…She fulfilled all her duties and responsibilities both as a wife and as a Daughter-In Law….
One fine Morning, the Girl finally we shall Know her name, Kanchan…We”ll call her by this name now on…
Kanchan did her daily routine, cooked food, looked after the Kitchen and Pooja room and till then, A voice came from behind her, It was none other than her Mother-In Law….
She was looking very unusual that day and also her expressions were as If she showed hatred towards Kanchan, Kanchan could not understand and not believe her ears… Because she not only heard her Voice from behind her but she heard very abusive words told by her Mother-in law to her….
She surprisingly asked her kindly, why has she used such words, then in counter reaction her Mother-In Law started throwing more bad words and offensive sentences on her…..and said that:-
“She has brought a wrong girl for her Son, neither is she getting any wealth and possessions from Kanchan’s family nor She’s able to see the face of her Grandson…??
She continued even more harshly and a surprised Kanchan stood shocked, she couldn’t believe her ears….And she ran to her room and started wipping and cried and turned many handkerchiefs into a pulp….
So we can see here, that it’s only that Dowry is only demanded from Family of middle class or Average people but here you can clearly see, Her Husband was an IAS officer and had no scarcity of wealth but still demand came and in return also added about inability to see her grandson…. seriously from how long marriage had taken place? Merely 3 months and a half….
But it was not actually a demand of Grandson but was a demand to satisfy Greed of the Khanna Family…
But Kanchan knew her father had invested everything he had on her marriage and in order to fulfill her in-laws demands that came as in the name of Gifts…So she told her Husband that she can’t say her father about this….
To this her husband replied, that no offense if she can’t call him, he said one day you”ll have no option left but to call your father….
He meant that they”ll continue tormenting her and one day, she would have to give a call to her home or else her patience will unjoin hands with her….
“Are you happy”? Asked her mother over the call she said, “Yes, I am very happy” hiding inside her all the tears, emotions, feeling to hug her parents tight, this is how Girls became strong even more after marriage….
And poor parents!!, thought their daughter was happily Married and poor Daughter!! Could not even share her sufferings….!!
Here Kanchan did a very severe mistake of hiding the truth from her family and enduring all the pain herself…It gave a strength to her in-laws who were assured that Kanchan won’t open her mouth in front of anyone…
She should have seeked help from the police and she could have made her way out from the hell in which she was forced to live ..
But lack of courage and lack of that one single step made this literate and intellectual girl suffer…
Alas! This is the story which happens almost unconditional and needs to be stopped by taking actions against these, but sadly all education mixes with water and silence remains the best teacher of all times!!!
So through, this case study my purpose was to make you all realize how important it is to raise our voice against injustice and how important it is to share your problems especially when the problem is so critical…!!